A review of the past week’s episode of LOST from a frustratedly loyal (and loyally frustrated) fan. This week: Jin & Sun, Past, Present & Future in “Ji Yeon”.
LOST, Episode 4.07
A. Not one episode ago, the Kwons were still playing telephone to share information with the group because Jin didn’t know English for “they went into the jungle.” Now he’s ready to be on the Beach Debate Team.
B. I should have known that it was a double-flash (back AND forward) when Jin was back to the “are you satisfied with your car insurance?” haircut. No way he’d willingly go back to that after rocking the Jin Of The Jungle tussled look. Oh, plus he wouldn’t need a job or a cab or a giant-ass cellphone after he got a chunk of change from that Oceanic Six settlement, thus it would have to be in the past. But mostly the hair.
C. Given the number of ludicrous things that happen on this show (Smoky, Richard Alpert’s perpetual youth, Locke walking, Rose not having cancer, Mikhail, etc.), I would appreciate if they DIDN’T strive for realism in depicting childbirth. Seriously, clean that baby up before we get a look at it.
– You have to respect Hurley for being consistent. He lands on the Island overweight with long hair and facial hair that perpetually threatens to be a beard. He lives for months on that Island, still sporting long hair and still threatening to grow that beard out. Now he’s off the island, shopping at the Men’s Big & Tall and refusing to acknowledge that razors have been invented. I know we all love Penny, but next time Desmond goes batshit time-crazy and needs someone to hold his world together, Hurley is about as Constant as they come.
II. The More Things Change, The More People Sit On The Beach Waiting For Help
A. When did Kate suddenly became Chatty Cathy? It used to be that someone couldn’t ask her what she had for breakfast without her becoming a flight risk. Every question Jack or anyone else asked got the same “should I tell them or just stab them and run away?” face, and now she’s dropping details like Sun is a Korean, pregnant, stuck-on-an-Island Oprah. And then she’s all like, “I have to tell Jack about this,” like it’s normal, despite the fact that she only shares information with the guy when she’s trying to cock-block Juliet. Either way, thanks for that, Charlotte and/or Sawyer – whether it was the pistol whip or the sex, it’s working out for her.
B. You’ve gotta feel for Daniel a little bit. Everybody on the beach is afraid of Charlotte, so they keep coming to the wimpy scientist guy to ask if they will get rescued. He’s running out of ways to say “um, not really.”
C. Are they still getting Dharma food drops? The bamboo pantry looks awfully well-stocked for a group of 40-something people (and one Hurley) living for a couple of months. You can’t tell me that any one of these people is good at keeping rations, because they’ve all demonstrated a distinct inability to share ANYTHING.
D. You can tell why Juliet is a leader in her field – that stellar bedside manner and keen sense of doctor-patient privilege. There’s something very soothing about having the only two people on the Island who’ve seen your vagina have a discussion about your extramarital activities. It’s starting to become clear why Juliet’s best job offer involved a submarine and Ben’s hand in marriage. Also, way to blow the opportunity – if the secret affair was your bargaining chip with Sun, you threw it on the table way too early. There are much easier ways to get people to not do things, and the first option on your list should go something like this: “Fucking Smoke Monster.”
E. “Hi, I’m Bernard, and I’ll be your plot device this evening. Our specials are…”
F. Apparently ‘Nards has been catching some My Name Is Earl reruns in the Pearl Station since he’s been hibernating for the past five episodes.
III. Widmore Middle School…Excuse Me, I Mean The Freighter
A. Wasn’t Regina the person who answered the phone when George couldn’t? Should the crew be concerned that both their communications officer and their de-facto communications officer went off the deep end (ha, pun)? And is it more concerning that her book was upside-down, or that it being upside-down didn’t seem to deter her at all? I don’t think you need to try that hard to look smart on this boat, ma’am. A shirt with sleeves seems to do the trick.
B. I’m about three episodes late to the dance on this one, but there’s something strange about Desmond and Sayid being the two guys who rode to the boat with Captain Ron. I guess the pre-req for getting in the helicopter is ponytail-length hair and a full beard. Why hasn’t either of them shaved or showered since getting on the boat? Do they have their hearts set on starting a Bee Gees tribute act once they get to freedom? Also, with Faraday previously rocking the beard-and-long-hair look, and Future Jack rocking the beard (since it’s obvious at this point that his hair never grows), and Future Hurley maintaining the pseudo-beard long after getting off the Island, is excessive hair a key to unlocking the mysteries of this show? I vote yes.
C. Michael or no Michael, finding out who slipped them the note through the door would have been a tough task given how many people seem to have ulterior motives or other personal things going on. Luckily, a simple handwriting test would have solved the issue. Who writes – excuse me, scrawls – in jagged capital letters? That note looked like somebody wrote it with their foot.
D. Desmond didn’t seem interested in pushing the Charles Widmore issue. I mean, guy who hated your guts, wouldn’t let you marry his daughter, scheduled the race around the world that got you stranded on the Island to begin with, etc., and you didn’t need a follow-up question?
E. I’m sure that everyone on the Island will be thrilled to find out that the previous three months of living their life tortured on a can’t-be-found mystery Island are a result of some rich-kid bitchfight.