Brains and charm are fine, but a real guy needs to know how to do real stuff…
I’m a sucker for lists. Top 10s. Top 100s. Whatever. I love the compilation of data. I love disagreeing, often loudly with the accumulated information.
So, when I saw the new issue of Popular Mechanics I had to buy it. Not only did it contain a list, but it contained a list that was somehow a vague threat to my manhood.
I’m not the handiest guy I know, that’s probably Stephe, but I do okay. My dad made sure I knew how to do a lot of stuff, whether I always wanted to or not.
So, what follows is the list from Popular Mechanics. The things I think I can “do” are bolded.
How manly are you?
- Tape drywall – a work in progress
- Grill with charcoal
- Split firewood
- Set up a ladder safely
- Take the perfect portrait – I’m still working on this one
- Find potable water – I guess going to the corner store doesn’t count
- Build a fire in the wilderness
- Build a shelter
- Ditch your hard drive
- Use a French knife – I don’t even know what a French knife is. Shouldn’t it be a “freedom knife?”
- Cast a line
- Wax a car
- Check trouble codes
- Iron a shirt
- Paint a straight line
- Tie a bowline
- Use a stick welder
- Read an electric meter
- Hang food in the wild
- Solder wire
- Put out a fire
- Move heavy stuff
- Change a diaper – I have twins. I can do this one-handed
- Drive in snow – I grew up in South Louisiana. This was not a required skill.
- Remove bloodstains from fabric
- Fell a tree
- Ride a bike
- Conquer an off-road obstacle – see #24
- Whittle
- Install a graphics card
- Hitch up a trailer
- Sew a button
- Throw a spiral
- Survive a lightning storm – Stay inside?
- Survive a flood
- Survive a tornado
- Survive in the cold
- Survive in the heat
- Home brew beer – but I do know how to drink home brewed beer. Half credit?
- Fix a faucet cartridge
- Replace a fan belt
- Lend a hand
- Mix concrete
- Run rapids in a canoe
- Drive a stick shift – Not well, but I can do it
- Escape a sinking car – know the theory. Never had to apply it.
- Shoot a home movie
- Replace a faucet washer
- Shoot straight
- Tie a necktie – My wife might disagree
- Grow food – I’ve helped, but never done it on my own
- Handle a blowout
- Skipper a boat
- Fly a stunt kite
- Make a drum tight bed
- Shine shoes
- Drop and give the perfect pushup
- Carve a turkey – a work in progress
- Replace a broken windpane
- Change a single pole switch
- Sweat copper tubing
- Parallel park
- Escape a rip current – did it once in Mexico…barely
- Use a sewing machine
- Survive snakebite
- Survive Frostbite
- Survive burns
- Survive seizures
- Survive ticks
- Change a tire
- Shovel the right way
- Fix a toilet flapper
- Tackle steep drops on a mountain bike
- Reverse hypothermia
- Perform the Heimlich
- Perform hands-only CPR
- Prune bushes and small trees
- Jumpstart a car
- Calibrate HDTV settings – hasn’t come up yet.
- Fold the flag
21-40 is master your workshop and a list of “essential” tools. That seems like cheating.
How’d you do?
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