For as long as I’ve known him Stephe has been very big on conspiracy theories. The internet was like the Holy Grail for him in that regard. He plugged into all kinds of conspiracy theory websites and groups. He gets emails with theories so convoluted they make my head spin.
So, it came as no surprise today when he forwarded part of an email regardin the death o Michael Jackson and the theory that he faked his own death. What did surprise me how plausible this one was.
See for yourself. The email read…
He married Lisa Marie so that he could find out how Elvis faked his death.
He then hired a guy to be him for a while, bought him all the plastic surgery in the world so we’d forget what the real Michael looked like. Then he takes out a monster insurance policy on himself and his new tour, ‘dies’, and his kids get the money stuck in a trust that he controls.
The real Michael shows up in a couple of years as a Michael Jackson impersonator in “I Want You Back – a Triibute to Michael Jackson the Early Years” and lives out his days comfortably in a remote mountainside mansion he shares with Elvis, Tupac and Andy Kaufman.
That’s just crazy enough to be true.
PS: Couple more notes I’ve gotten in the last couple of days. Enjoy – Stephe.
Celebrity deaths always occur in threes. David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farrah Faucet. Michael is the odd man out. Literally.
Okay…obviously this was sent before the passing of Billy Mays. If one more celebrity dies, Michael’s death is real. If two pass, it’s fake.
****This just in, Gale Storm and Fred Travelena died yesterday. That’s two. We’re back to fake.
…as a fan of animation, Michael would have known that June 25 (the day he supposedly died) was also the release date of the WB cartoon ‘Long-Haired Hare’. This is significant because the cartoon pitted the pop playing Bugs (Michael) against a classically trained (establishment) opera singer. It is also one of the few WB cartoon where Bugs is shown not wearing gloves, and specifically, not his left glove!
Mmmm. Seems stretchy. But, if Michael is to be found, it will be on “A Rainy Night in Rio’.
Being an attorney, I can tell you the probate process, with as many debtors as there are, could be a nightmare. However, since Michael ‘died’ with children to take care of, popular sentiment on his side, and a very connected circle of friends, it is likely that the creditors will be forced to settle their debts for mere pennies on the dollar. Additionally, I believe, they’ll be pressured to release the estate from any future claims. At that time Michael’s free to begin releasing the ‘lost recordings’ he’s hinted at. Big companies do stuff like this all the time. Ken Lay, from Enron…not really dead.
Ain’t the internet grand.
PPS. Chris below asks how Michael faked his death when it was so public and there was clearly a body. Good point.
In response, allow me to enter this e-mail into the record…
So I’m watching CNN last night and their [sic] reporting that ‘Michael’ isn’t really the biological father of his own kids. Well, duh, that’s because they’re not testing the real Michael Jackson. They tested the DNA of that creepy white dude that’s been pretending to be Michael since the mid 90’s against the real MJ. Of course it’s not going to match!
The revelation that Michael Jackson is not the father of his children lends further credence to the death hoax theory. With the copious plastic surgery of the last 3 decades the man behind the surgical mask could have been just about anyone while the real Jackson watched on in Howard Hughes-like seclusion.
See. Body Double. How easy was that?
Of course, now the question is who…
I think the fake Micheal Jackson is/was Kennedy William Gordy (aka Rockwell). Gordy, the son of MoTown mogul Berry Gordy achieved modest fame in the early 1980s with his only hit “Somebody’s Watching Me” which featured Jackson singing background vocals. Gordy and Jackson were childhood friends and Gordy’s fleeting taste of fame made him an ideal candidate to replace Jackson as “Michael.”
Gordy simply disappeared from the spotlight and began his transformation under the watchful eye of Jackson.
I love it when a plan comes together.
At this point, I’m going to stop posting postscripts and just run with what I get – Stephe
It’s no secret that Rockwell doubled for Michael back in the 90’s…They had a similar sound, similar build. What’s amazing is that they kept it going all these years. Sure drugs helped, as evidenced by the large number of prescription pills they’ve been pulling out of his house, but still. I can’t help but wonder if this is tied into Jermaine’s marriage to Barry Gordy’s daughter.
For those keeping score at home. That is now 2 votes for Rockwel
7-1-09: Someone’s spent too much time alone or online…or both.
I don’t see how anyone CAN’T see that he faked his own death. One, people do it all the time: Elvis, JFK, Steve Fosset, Walt Disney. And two, that family[the Jacksons] knows how to keep a secret. Just look at Janet. Two, maybe three secret marriages AND a secret kid. C’mon! How much harder would it be to hide Michael. I’ll bet they’ve got him stashed in the Neverland catacombs, drinking Pepsi and dancing the night away.
No…I’m sorry. This guy has spent too much time alone and online.
All this talk of MJ faking his death is way out of control. He’s not really dead, just mostly dead. He’s had himself frozen, like Walt Disney. Think about it, he already owned a hyperbaric chamber, all he needs to do is substitute liquid nitrogen for oxygen and there you go. There’s a little bit more to it, but some engineers I know said it wouldn’t take much to convert a hyperbaric chamber to a cryogenic chamber. Plus, MJ was asking for surgical type sedatives before he ‘died’. I’ve looked into this stuff, you have to slow the heart down prior to freezing, and that’s the drugs they use. My guess, he’ll be thawed out in a couple years after all the lawsuits go away.
7/9/09: This just in…
Everyone talks about Michael being obsessed with Elvis. That’s only part of hte story. Since the early 80s he was also obsessed with “Scarface” . That’s the real reason he had to have repeated nosejobs. He did so much cocaine that it ruined his nose. Rumor has it he would lock himself into “Neverland” and do Tony Montana size rails of coke while quoting the movies lines to his imaginary friends. Sources close to Jackson also say the idea for using claymation and live action in “Moonwalker” came to Jackson during a long night of coke.
He was heard to refer to Emmanuel Lewis as “my little friend” at the Grammys. Incidentally, Tony Montana’s right hand man? Manny which is short for Emmanuel.
The songs “Smooth Criminal” and “Man in the Mirror” were written in reference to Scarface (“are you okay Manny?)and his cocaine addiciton (“asking him to change his ways.”) respectively.
A little off the beaten path. But I do like it. How about this one…
At this point, I can’t see how anyone can tell me he’s dead with a straight face. The media keeps contradicting itself. One day he’s burried at Forest Lawn, the next Neverland. They report he had all these diseases and addictions, yet his doctors deny everything. The body they took to the hospital was ‘lilly white’ and bald and emaciated, yet we have a rehearsal video and Michael is clearly alive and good health. Hell, they held a funeral for an empty casket! I agree with some of the posters here. Michael is clearly in hiding either in the Middle East or in Europe. I wish him all the best and ask that he say ‘Hi’ to Elvis for me.
7-14 – Seems everyone is picking up on the same inconsistencies: contradicting testimony, suspicious photos, mysterious timelines. It was sort of a relief when I got this one today.
Let me sum it up for you in one word.
MJ has been funding clone research for years. It’s been pretty well documented that back in ‘o2 he went to a hush-hush clone clinic in Europe with one of his psychic friends, Ure Gellar [sic]. I believe it is totally safe to say that his son, Prince Michael 2, is his clone. They’ve never produced a mother for this child, and we’ve never really seen him up close.
Because he’s a clone.
Of course, making a clone is the easy part. Scientists do it all the time. To make the clone useful takes some work, though. Memory transference is fraught with dangerous side effects, as is rapid growth acceleration. Even if you raised your own clone, without recreating the environment you grew up in, chances are he/she would be nothing like you. So, if you’re Michael Jackson and you want to recreate your childhood, what do you do? Make your parents raise your clone by ‘dying’ and granting them custody.
All of PMJ2’s talent will be for naught if Joe Jackson isn’t there to ruthlessly push the kid into stardom.
That’s how MJ plans to cheat the reaper.