I Have Arrived and You Should Believe the Hype

Enough!

Seriously!

Just fucking enough already!

We were out Christmas shopping over the weekend and I saw this magazine cover staring at me from several different racks.

Why in the blue hell does this woman get to tell “her side of the story?” 

Let me tell her side of the story.  I hooked up with a famous married guy and now I’m using OK! magazine as a stepping stone on my way to a Playboy pictorial and eventual obscurity followed by a season on Celebrity Fit Club.

Let’s just get something straight.  Just because you helped Tiger Woods bust a nut, you’re not famous.  You’re a star fucker and an attention whore.

Go away!

I don’t care how many women Tiger Woods slept with.  That’s between him and his wife and their legal teams.

To allow this broad to cash in like this is a shame and a disgrace, but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.  We live in a society obsessed with vapid wastes of oxygen who are famous for nothing more than being famous.

While the media obsessess about Tiger’s transgressions, the economy continues to decay, but I guess Rachel Uchitel looks better on the cover of a magazine than Alan Greenspan.

We’re fighting wars in two countries half a world away, but we’d rather talk about the goddamn Kardashians than how to properly resolve those.

Wake up America!

Let’s put the focus back on the real issues before Walter Cronkite rises from the dead and bludgeons Paris Hilton to death with her damned dog.

Good night and good luck!

One Comment Add yours

  1. Chris says:

    He’s on FIRE!! I like it man. Way to distill it down to its industrial-grade solvent essence.

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