LOST Notes: What They Died For – Desmond’s Eleven

Jacob: It's just a line of chalk in a cave. This Week: It has to be Jack. Meanwhile, Desmond's getting the band together for one last heist... - I fully acknowledge that this is nitpicking, but the commercial break cliffhangers are still killing me. Ooh, Jack knows they have to kill Locke! You mean like …

LOST Notes: Across The Sea – Aesop’s Fumbles

Jacob: You want to find the light? You want to leave this place, brother? Then GO! This week: Ugh.    - Things We Learned, Pt. 1: Moms are bitches. They lie to you, they keep secrets, they kill people, they plant games on the beach for you to find rather than just give them to …

LOST Notes: The Candidate – The Wreck Of The Franklin Lapidus

Sayid Jarrah: Because it's going to be you, Jack. This week: You Must Be THIS Relevant To The Final Plot And Themes To Continue... - Now that Jack and his son are BFFs and totally getting Dodgers season tickets when this whole "dural sac" epidemic blows over, maybe he can ask the little lamb to …

LOST Notes: The Last Recruit – War Means Cocked Guns And Wet, Sandy Jeans

James "Sawyer" Ford: We're done going back, Kate. This week:  As we head for The End, old themes rear their head...namely, the theme where Jack screws everything up. - Try as we might to embrace Desmond or Faraday or Eko or Richard or Sawyer or even Ben, there’s no way around it; LOST is all …

LOST Notes: Everybody Loves Hugo – And Explosions. We Also Love Explosions.

  Ilana: *explodes* This week:  Now we're talking - a classic LOST episode, even if it takes Hugo "The Audience Proxy" Reyes to deliver it.   - Here are some of the things that Hugo’s lottery winnings can’t pay for: a personal trainer, the respect of his mother, an assistant (to buy his family-size chicken …

LOST Notes: Happily Ever After – Faithfaithfaithfaith*SCIENCE*faith

Desmond Hume: There's ALWAYS a choice, brother. This week: true love only exists in alternate realities. Also, the best way to avoid us noticing that you are tap-dancing around cold hard facts is to trot out the dreaded Desmond/Faraday combo. - What's that you say? There are six episodes left and we have yet to …

LOST Notes: The Package – Look, I Like Jin And All, But Does Anyone Know How Long Until V Returns?

The Guy Without A Fucking Name Who Turns Into Fucking Black Smoke And Answers Everyone's Fucking Question With A Long Fucking Soliloquy About His Fucking World View: I don't like secrets. This week: I’ll try to keep it short since we all did a lot of reading during the episode itself.  - With this being the …

LOST Notes: Ab Aeterno: The Black Rock, The White Stone and The Gray Hairs (Or Lack Thereof)

Herbert (the man in black): My friend, you and I can talk all day long about what's right or wrong, but the question before you remains the same. This week: It turns out the most interesting man in the world actually doesn't have too much going on, besides an exciting couple of days here and …

LOST Notes: Recon – Con Again…And Again…And Again

James "Sawyer" Ford: Trust me, God's got nothing to do with it. This week: No matter the decade, no matter the universe, no matter the reality, there is one constant: Sawyer been gettin' ass, ya'll.  I. The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Sawyer's Neverending Sex Life A. There are two types of women in this …

LOST Notes: Dr. Linus – A Ben Without Balls Or Bruises

Ben Linus:  I was terrified that I was about to lose the only thing that had ever mattered to me...my power... This week: Theoretical redemption through Saved By The Bell-meets-Law & Order plotlines.  Also, maybe we find out why Jin can't die. I. On This Week's After-School Special / Episode of Fat Albert A. The …