A review of the past week’s episode of LOST from a frustratedly loyal (and loyally frustrated) fan. This week: Kate Austen, Babynapper in Eggtown.
LOST, Episode 4.04
I. Raising Aaron-zona
A. Past, present or future, Kate’s story is about as compelling as drying cement. What a shock, she’s back in handcuffs! Who would have guessed?! And she ran away from the Island! And now she’s a babynapper! So many harrowing twists and turns that I never saw coming! There might have been a little suspense for her story if I hadn’t watched the same things happen to Kate in every single Kate-centric episode. Believe me, I wish I hadn’t seen every other Kate-centric episode. They’re like Nickleback songs – you catch one and you have a pretty good idea how all the others are going to go.
B. Future Jack is Fack, Future Hurley is Futurley and Future Sayid is Fayid (which I guess makes him Egyptian instead of Iraqi), but Future Kate can’t be Fate, because that’s too beautiful of a summation to be wasted on her. I’d prefer FuKate, which looks a little like FU, Kate, which is pretty much how I feel during most episodes.
C. I don’t quite understand why the D.A. would push so hard on this case, especially after all of the (presumed) Oceanic Six hubbub surrounding FuKate. There’s gotta be some heavy public backlash for prosecuting the hero/survivor, so I don’t see what makes them pursue the case so hard. Unless she had to watch hours upon hours of Kate-centric television and formed an unhealthy personal vendetta…in that case, I guess I could sympathize.
D. Hard to believe that Claire would want anyone else raising her kid, much less Kate. First, there’s the small detail of the psychic warning her of impending doom when Aaron is raised by anyone who isn’t Claire. Then there’s the glowing track record of Kate’s previous relationships. If the baby handover consisted of anything less than Claire getting knocked out with a blackjack/sock full of quarters, then color me confused.
E. Is she hell-bent on going to jail? She tries to block Jack as a character witness, denies the move to put her “kid” in the courtoom and plays it unecessarily headstrong with ever possible escape she is offered. After a lifetime of running away, what makes an 8×8 cell so appealing? Has she turned into a wannabe martyr like Jack? Is she planning to get transferred to the nuthouse with Futurley, cover her entire body with tattoos that include blueprints of the facility and hatch a meticulous plan to bust both of them out at once?
F. I know she cleared it up later and probably caved in when her lawyer (thinking logically, what a concept) stepped in, but the fact that she would initially rebuff her mom’s painfully easy deal is mind-blowing. Give the woman an hour or so with a kid who won’t remember her the next day anyway. It’s not like they’ll be hitting up Disneyland with grandma on the oxygen tank. One afternoon and you get spared life in prison.
G. I fail to see the vilification of Kate’s mom anyway. Yeah, she tried to turn you in a couple times. That’s almost as harsh of a betrayal as blowing up someone’s spouse. Plus, you know that stepdad was kind of a loser, and the life insurance settlement couldn’t have been that high. So mom’s probably got a decent reason to be pissed. FuKate getting counter-pissed because mom is pissed is pretty much the epitome of her idiotic insistence on being stubborn in the face of better options. There’d better be a future flashback showing that mom used to whip Kate with a belt and once killed her dog in front of her, otherwise I fail to see the motivation there. Actually, there’d better NOT be a future flashback, because the thought of another Kate-centric episode makes me want to carve out my eyes with something dull and rusty.
H. The case really falls apart when Mom doesn’t take the stand? How about the cop/husband that she drugged and abandoned? Maybe the wife or family of the childhood friend who died when Kate ran from the hospital? Something tells me that when your entire case rests on a family member being cool with sending their kin to jail for life, you haven’t done enough work. I guess I should watch more Law & Order.
I. Does Fack know that Aaron is his half-nephew? Is that why he doesn’t want to see him? Or is there something wrong with the kid, or with Kate, that is keeping him from checking in? Does he know that Kate raising the kid means bad things (on SO many levels)? Or is it just his paralyzing fear of commitment making things difficult again?
J. Do all the kids age like crazy once they get off the Island? First Walt comes back looking like he’s NBA-bound, and now Aaron, who looks fresh out of the womb in every Island scene, seems to be about three good weeks away from getting his driver’s permit. Seriously, that kid grew like Jack’s facial hair, it’s uncanny.
II. The Shepard, The Lambs He’s Leading To Slaughter, And The Leftover Not-Quite Rescue Rangers
A. Very smart of Jack to continually use the phone to no avail when two of the people who came to the Island with working knowledge of said phones are sitting around watching him. Clearly the man is a master of modern technology, as evidenced by his work on the Hatch computer…or with the radio transmission…or with the walkie talkies. You’ve got a physicist running scientific time-lapse field tests sitting next to you, and you can’t delegate responsibility. How, exactly, did he give the impression that the Lostaway society was a democracy?
B. Was Daniel predicting the playing cards? When he said he was a physicist, did he make a mental typo? Also, while Benry and the Others had a lot to do with it, you can’t deny that the downfall of the Dharma Initiative was brought about partly because of superfluous expenses like Dharma-branded playing cards.
C. The mystery of the missing helicopter – a significantly underwhelming mystery when Daniel has evidence of space-time discrepancies on and off the Island – could have probably been avoided if they parked their freighter ANYWHERE along the horizon line of the Island. Maybe the chopper was nearly out of gas because you’re taking off from Zimbabwe.
III. The People’s Republic Of Locke
A. I take issue with Benry’s snide comment about Johnboy evolving, because it’s clear to everyone that nothing has changed. This time he makes a nice meal and delivers it to the man trapped in the room with a calm demeanor and a “I’m totally in control” smirk, he deflects all the pointed jabs from his prisoner and then has a COMPLETE MELTDOWN once the door is shut, still clearly in earshot of the guy who was screwing with him. It’s the exact same damn thing he did two seasons ago in the Hatch. Seriously, take a walk up the stairs before you smash the plates – that would show progress. What’s the point of facing Benry down with the Sad Clown face when you’re going to completely blow your position of power seconds later?
B. It’s a shame we had to wait this long to see Locke’s inner Martha Stewart come out. First he brews iced tea, now he’s fixing Benry up a Grand Slam breakfast and planning a Hawaiian Luau for his merry men. Throw in his hunting prowess, his unabashed naiveté and his willingness to get talked or tricked into doing virtually anything and he sounds like the perfect husband. It’s surprising he isn’t more of a sex symbol…although I guess it would be more of a “nonloving domestic tolerance” symbol. Plus he hasn’t grown facial hair in 90 days! Can you imagine how much money you save on razors? If it wasn’t for Benry practically being his common-law wife at this point, he’d be a hell of a steal, ladies.
C. I understand that you’ve gotta keep Hurley happy and moving around, what with his self-confidence issues and his former fellow outcast Chuckles drifting out to sea somewhere, but I’m amazed at the number of important tasks that they leave to him, knowing full well the results of his previous important tasks. He likes food, couldn’t he help Locke cook dinner? Couldn’t Rousseau or Alex or Karl or anyone else have been on lunch duty? It’s almost like Locke WANTED everyone to know, as Sawyer aptly pointed out.
D. Don’t you think that the question of “do you know who I am?” could have come up during the extended walk from the helicopter to the barracks last episode? If you waited to bait-and-switch with Charlotte, diss Sawyer, cross Locke, fool Hurley and stage a prison break just so Sayid wouldn’t find out that you’re a wanted fugitive, I’ve got some bad news: he probably already knows.
E. Whoever rigged the Team Locke housing lottery to put Sawyer and Hurley together deserves a bonus. This season needs at least five more episodes just so one of them can focus entirely on the Island Odd Couple story of Hugo and James. Hugo gets into hijinks (namely messing up whatever previous important task the others had foolishly assigned him), James gets fed up, then the two hatch (pun!) some foolish plan to make everything right again, only to have the plan fall apart and their landlord, Mr. Locke, gets upset. And then he puts a grenade in their mouth.
F. Totally crazy that a guy who works as a ghostchaser would end up running an extortion scheme for his own personal benefit. Tremendous work on that background check, Diet Eko/Naomi/Other Folks.
G. Did neither Miles nor Kate think about the fact that they left Benry UNTIED in an unlocked room inside his own house? That’s why I think Kate will work out as a mother – her intuitive sense of responsibility.
H. Commandant Locke needs to issue a decree about knocking before you enter the room. Then again, he needs to learn to follow that rule himself. Just because you spent the last two months living in tents and tarps doesn’t mean civilization is completely abandoned. Doors don’t exist only to be slammed when you have a hissy fit, John.